Search blog.co.uk

Physical Attraction..... and one other type
by Collar @ 16. Jul. 2008. - 08:19:54

At the risk of starting this post with the words "At the risk of..."... oh it's happened. Aaargh, why do I caveat so much?

Physical attraction, does it always contain sexual attraction?

Can you be physically attracted to another adult, and you just want to be with them, to hear their voice, to enjoy their good looks,.... without eventually or secretly wanting to do something that, colloquially, involves them losing their brains (if performed wholeheartedly that is?)?

I think you can. However, we are sexual animals... so a bit of a doubt there.

12 comments | Trackback (0) | Permalink | Recommend this post
Tags:

 
Disable ads
 

Trackback address for this post:

authimage

Comments, Trackbacks: Hide subcomments

whoknowswhoknows [Member]
2008-07-16 @ 08:51

There are beautiful men that I enjoy looking at but have no sexual feelings about at all (I'm thinking David Sylvian in the 1980s for example, and also a couple of boyfriends I had because I liked their looks, but quickly finished it because I knew the sex thing wasn't there). Whereas sexual attraction is something different - it's not to do with looks, it's something else. I can look at Steve and see that he's not the best looking man in the world, theoretically not as good looking as lots of other boyfriends I've had, but the minute I spoke to him there was huge sexual attraction, and that has stayed much longer than with anyone else.

I think it's something to do with smell as well. And something else undefinable

| Show this thread
lucreziaborgialucreziaborgia pro
2008-07-16 @ 10:55

Wholeheartedly agree with you. In fact, I prefer to admire a good-looking woman, as the idea of beauty is more readily carried out by a female body, in my opinion. Men, let's face it, are a bit ugly when naked.

Smell...mmm, absolutely. As somebody who is almost blind, a good smell is paramount for any potential attraction I may have towards somebody.

xxLuxx

| Show this thread |
CollarCollar [Member]
2008-07-19 @ 22:41

Thanks for the comments... but is 'admire' the same as being physically attracted to?
I disagree that men are a bit ugly when naked. Cheeky! :)
And what does "potential" attraction mean? Attraction is either there or it isn't, surely?
x

| Show this thread |
lucreziaborgialucreziaborgia pro
2008-07-19 @ 23:05

Not at all. There MIGHT be attraction, but if the man in question opens his mouth to speak in a horrid accent dropping his Hs and Ts, or smells foul, or calls me 'bird', no matter how attractive he may be... I would run.

xx

P.S. Women's bodies are physically more attractive. Sorry, David.

| Show this thread |
CollarCollar [Member]
2008-07-19 @ 23:28

Well OK what I had in mind was a physical attraction that lasts for weeks or months or years... not the initial appeal that someone may or may not have.
Calls you 'bird'? LOL What, to your face...?
"Women's bodies are physically more attractive".. well this is a generalisation... whether or not I agree.. my original question was about particular personal experiences of physical attraction...

|
MonkeyPieMonkeyPie [Member]
2008-07-18 @ 12:54

Well, I've always thought that you're attracted to your friends (not in a sexual way). Finding someone, a kindred spirit if you like, echoes yourself or the parts of you that you wish to nuture so it's like a feeling of attraction. Whether they're physically attractive or not, it's still a form of attraction.

I think the question would be better phrased as to whether men and women can ever be wholly platonic if there aren't any other barriers such as age, relation or looks (people tend to go for someone of the same level of attractiveness as themselves).
Most of my best friends are male and although I don't find them physically attractive, I'm sure I've still had at least a fleeting thought abotu them at some point as to what it would be like to fancy them properly. Saying that, I have met a few men who I've found completely acceptable physically but just never put them in any sort of ambiguous brackets, especially if as soon as I meet them they strike me as someone who'd go well with a friend or other.

Saying that, I'm more likely to be impressed by a truly beautiful woman than a man just because they are, by nature more attractive. It doesn't make sexually attracted to them!

| Show this thread
CollarCollar [Member]
2008-07-19 @ 22:36

Well thanks for commenting. But if I phrased the question differently, it would be a different question !
As regards your 'fleeting thought's, I heard a Body Language expert say that we always evaluate everyone as potential sexual partners. (I think she meant of the opposite sex.) At first I thought "no way", but later I thought she maybe had a point. I think we always do it, although often or maybe mostly subconciously. What I was thinking about though was an ongoing physical attraction.
I'm not quite sure what you mean by "fancy them properly", as I've heard it mean a range of things, although because there is always a sexual element in the range of meanings... you don't have to explain.

|
misspoisonmisspoison [Member]
2008-08-16 @ 22:51

thats a tough one!!

I'd hope so, only because I'd say most of my bestest friends are my family members (sisters, nieces, cousins)and friends I've know from being little, I love being with them, love them as people, can appriciate their good looks, but in no way shape or form fancy them!

As far as do I think a man and women can have platonic friendship? Absolutely not! In my experience, one or the other fancies, the other one or other!!! or something!!!

I most admit I think we do find beauty and physical attraction in our friends cause if we like someone we tend to see the good bits, we tend to look for the good bits... or maybe I should turn we to me! (I might of had a few glasses of wine... which might explain the rambling!!!) ;)

CollarCollar [Member]
2008-08-17 @ 16:41

Hmm. good points... I sometimes wonder if I'm in denial when I believe in platonic friendships (although I wish there were another word for the kind of fun/loving yet nonsexual relationships I have in mind... platonic now sounds so dumb!).
Maybe the man-woman thing (to use the straight example, lol) starts with some sexual attraction... but can that be successfully put to the side after the start?
Tending to look for the good bits in friends... yeah, why not? More of it, I say! And not just for friends!

BTW: Thanks for your comments to posts.
Good wine obviously makes for good rambling! ;)

| Show this thread
MissSofiaMoonMissSofiaMoon [Member]
2008-08-21 @ 23:23

interesting post and comments. complicated question, huh?
so there's someone in particular you are thinking of?
well, I hope my mummy was right!
I'm sure she was. I agree that there is always attraction, and that has always a sexual element. attraction is sexual, because we are sexual.
that may vanish almost instantly of course, if having sex is not a possiblity. then just friendship remains. I think it's always initiated by a sexual attraction though.
sometimes if you've been friends for a long time with someone the thought of having sex seems a bit gross. friendship can be more enduring. and also, I think that we should feel love towards our close friends...
I guess that if you think someone is good looking or beautiful, male or female, then you are attracted to them. (like takeshi, I'm never actually gonna sleep with her ) :)) there's no shame in that. it's possible to be mates with ugly people, but don't we all prefer our better looking friends?

| Show this thread |
CollarCollar [Member]
2008-08-23 @ 15:30

Yes, well spotted, there was someone in mind. But it has happened before.

What did your mummy say?

I so agree about the presence, if only fleeting, of sexual attraction, but I think it is within the human attraction, not the forerunner of anything, as if sexual attraction could happen by itself.
Such a good observation about the grossness! even with 'sexy' friends... some sort of inappropriateness feeling, shyness maybe , comes into it.
Hmm. Your last point, beware of ambiguous readings, SM!
I think friendship genuinely in time makes irrelevant any thoughts of finding people less outwardly attractive.
Thanks for making me think!

| Show this thread |
MissSofiaMoonMissSofiaMoon [Member]
2008-08-24 @ 11:17

at the risk of... teehee, that's funny!

erhm, just an unrelated point... about conversations;
women are happy to chat about mundane stuff with other women. it's a way of bonding and becoming friends. we do it because it opens the door for us to discuss anything important that may later come into our lives. :D

I was wondering about attraction; if you like them they like you... was that related to this person??

please expand on your point about presence of attraction. don't quite understand what you mean?

yes, ugly people could be close friends, and then their repulsiveness (haha I'm just being mean!) wouldn't matter. but don't we usually gravitate towards people of a similar attractiveness to ourselves? I think I do! except when we are in situations like work, when we can't choose whether or not to spend time with people. then I guess we do become friends without that attraction. in which case sexual attraction doesn't figure at all. hm, guess my earlier point wasn't quite right then. :))

|

Leave a comment :

Your email address will not be displayed on this site.
Your URL will be displayed.
Allowed XHTML tags: <!, p, ul, ol, li, dl, dt, dd, address, blockquote, ins, del, a, span, bdo, br, em, strong, dfn, code, samp, kdb, var, cite, abbr, acronym, q, sub, sup, tt, i, b, big, small, img>
URLs, email, AIM and ICQs will be converted automatically.
Options:
 
(Line breaks become <br />)
(Set cookies for name, email & url)
Validation code:
Please enter the above code here:
For protection from spambots (case-sensitive).

Footer

The content of this website belongs to a private person, blog.co.uk is not responsible for the content of this website.