Sense of Perspective.... if found, please return

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Sense of Perspective.... if found, please return

by Collar @ 28. Jul. 2008. – 11:28:12

A voice inside my head doesn't want me to write this... but I admit I lose perspective when I have the blues.

I overestimate the purity of my love.

I overestimate the value of the other person that I want to lean on.

The other 'real' person that is... as opposed to the sacred image I carry in my head.

It's not anbody's fault when they don't live up to the expectation I have of them.

I believe in trust and honesty... but when was I ever 100% trustworthy and honest?... so ain't it just perverse to expect this of other people?

Sometimes it's hard to know what is for the best... I want to say I need someone, even when I know I can't have them. I recriminate myself for a bit saying I am not trying hard enough to 'win' them. But sometimes.. well I thought I wanted this, but I'm getting that.. so be grateful, it doesn't mean I lost.

PS: when I say "value" of the other person, I mean their role fulfilling capability... not their human worth (of course!) sounds technical now, don't it!
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6 Comments to Sense of Perspective.... if found, please return

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- fairplay ^Pro
- 03. Aug. 2008. @ 15:26:23
I hear you loud and clear on this one. We are different people wihe every person we meet. Mostly not intentionally - but it's a product of the experiences that you share. People bring out different sides to your character and vice-versa.

One particular song has the chorus

"There is no-one; no-one at all
Never has been and never will be a lover - male or female
Who hasn't an eye on
In fact they rely on
Tricks they can try on their partners
They're hoping their lover will help them or keep them, support them, promote them
Don't blame them you're the same!

Which isn't particularly cynical I think - it's life. I, for one, am very guilty of putting those that I admire on a pedestal.
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- misspoison
- 16. Aug. 2008. @ 23:36:34
so know what you mean! x
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- MissSofiaMoon
- 22. Aug. 2008. @ 00:41:50
it's lovely that you are so honest, and that you think about this deeply.
re the above comment: perhaps it's true of a lot of people, but I am not different with people. I am me; if you like me great, if you don't, no big deal. trying to adapt to the people around you is just a headache. the only way I ever do that at all is by being quiet, withdrawn, rather than my usual talkative self. but that is just respecting their space... most people don't want to hear what I have to say anyway.
I get disappointed with people, with people that I hope to be close to, because it's hard to remember that we are all flawed.

like the other day, I had a really really important day, for me. I'd been nervous and worried about it for ages. I talked with one of my closest friends about it quite a bit.
when it came to the day in question she didn't contact me at all to wish me luck, or hope things went ok etc. just a one minute tx would have been fine. but nothing. what's worse is that I still haven't heard from her.
she'll be in touch soon, within a couple of days, and just act like normal. but I'm really hurt and feel like never speaking to her again. I won't talk about anything else with her that is important to me.
- - Collar
  - 23. Aug. 2008. @ 16:17:42
  Thanks for your comment. I appreciate it, too, that you are so open.
  I tend to hope that friendships are better than they actually are. At least in the early days. It leads me to be disappointed, but to be fair, I don't think it is always that the other person is disappointing.
  If that makes sense... It has happened so often now that I think my tendency is for my friendship expectation to run before it can walk.
  Bit of a coincidence too that you mention a friend not being in touch on your special day. I've had a few instances this summer where I've felt kinda funny dropping some short 'good luck' type texts to people. As if its not the done thing for a guy to do. Where t f does that come from?
  - - MissSofiaMoon
    - 24. Aug. 2008. @ 12:53:51
    it seems to be an easy mistake to make for us to expect too much from a friend. perhaps it is something of which they are not capable? I suppose then that in that situation it is us that are wrong, and we who need to adjust our expectations.
    I guess it means that we are (perhaps always?) looking and hoping for a deep and meaningful connection. should we view friendships as types... different levels of intimacys, ranging from very casual to very intimate?
    
    (as if I didn't have enough problems, I'm also dyslexic... without the abc option on comments I'm having to use a manual dictionary about three times per comment haha!)
    
    yes, I'm always getting into trouble for texting too much! it may not just be a guy thing
    
    I heard from my friend yesterday. HOW DID IT GO??!! she said in capitals... about five days too late. I haven't replied. I've been so stressed etc blah blah... she said, and I'm supposed to accept and believe that?
    Don't think I'll do either. truthfully; I think she did it on purpose. only thing is we have been mates for over ten years, and so it does seem a little insignificant compared to all that friendship. I'm happy with her as a friend, face to face. I'm not sure what will happen now.
    
    I had a heavy day yesterday and was tired...
    - - Collar
      - 28. Aug. 2008. @ 12:18:34
      Thanks for the comments.
      
      Texting a guy thing? Never thought of that. I suppose I thought it was a woman thing if anything, from observation.
      
      On your last point... it's a thing I've learned belatedly... to cut myself some slack... cos problems in one area can affect my mood in other areas...
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Sense of Perspective.... if found, please return

6 Comments to Sense of Perspective.... if found, please return

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